What You Mean To Me
by 07bumblebee07
Summary: Zoro feels lonely when Sanji is ignoring him. But why is the Blonde giving the Marimo the silent treatment? Modern Alternate Universe Fanfiction. ZoroxSanji story.
1. Morning

_Hey Guys_

 _This is the result of a very distractable brain thinking too much about One Piece._

 _I apologise for nothing._

* * *

 **What You Mean To Me**

 **Chapter One** : Morning

 **Zoro**

Morning.

How many mornings had it been since Luffy told Sanji...?  
It had been more than mornings now.

It was closer to months...  
Four? Five?

Zoro had lost count.  
Not that he had been counting really. Time wasn't what he thought of. Instead, his mind had been otherwise preoccupied. Filled with the thoughts of the man next to him, who was still asleep in bed.

Sanji had changed recently. He had lost his drive, his motivation. Simply a shell of his former self.  
It was heartbreaking to watch. As if it was a form of torture to torment Zoro further. Rubbing salt in his wounds.

 _He_ had caused this.  
 _He_ had caused Sanji's pain, Sanji's suffering.

Zoro was the one who had destroyed him...

Suddenly Sanji cried out, lashing out with his arms without warning as he reached upwards.  
Another nightmare.  
Another memory.

The man let his arm drift slowly back to the bed, the shock of adrenaline gone just as quickly as it had come. The rims of Sanji's eyes were shadowed with tears as he stared up at the ceiling. His eyes were hazy, unfocused, as if Sanji wasn't seeing the room, but instead something far away, out of reach…

Zoro watched him silently, restraining the urge to reach over and hug the man. He couldn't hug him, kiss him or comfort him...  
Zoro let out a sigh, his eyes too, staring towards the white far above.  
If this was a usual morning Sanji would be up out of bed, long before Zoro had awoken. He would have himself a shower, make a start on some ridiculously fancy breakfast even a king would beg for. He'd put the clothes in the dryer and iron both his and Zoro's shirts for work.  
Then he'd crawl back in bed and snuggle up against Zoro for a few minutes just before the alarm went off.

But it was not a normal morning. It hadn't been for a while now.  
In fact it wasn't normal since June...

Sanji breathed out a sigh, using the back of his hand to wipe his eyes quickly. He shut his eyes again, his fingertips clutching at the duvet. He dragged it off his body and forced himself to sit up, without so much as a glance towards where the Marimo still lay.

Sanji let his legs dangle over the edge of the bed, shivering at the sudden prospect of the cold morning air. Zoro knew that he'd rather just stay wrapped up and sleep. But the others had put a stop to that a while back, when Sanji had first fallen into his depressed state. He had spent the first week trapped in his bedroom. It was the others that had brought him food.

If they hadn't, Sanji would've stopped eating altogether...

Zoro stared at the man's sagging shoulders, his lithe frame frail and bony, his skin pale and tinted grey from his self-induced sickness. Sanji looked ill. He didn't hold form to his body, letting himself slouch forward on the bed, his arms wrapping himself as he clutched to the material of Zoro's top: one that Sanji had claimed ages ago, near when they first tow had met. He had noted it as a ritual to wear it to bed since… well forever really. The top swamped Sanji, but the man didn't care.

Neither did the Marimo. He thought it was quite sweet that Sanji had taken it. Sort of how a girlfriend nicks a hoodie to wear out; a statement of their relationship. The closeness they share with one another.

But at the same time, the sight of it made Zoro sad.  
There was a tightness in his chest, as if a cold hand was wrapping around his heart and beginning to gently squeeze…

"Sanji-"  
The cook stood up slowly, turning his head towards the bed. His eyes skimmed over Zoro and the concerned expression on his face, his own eyes shining with something... but in a flash it was gone, replaced by the dull grey emptiness of depression.  
The despair on Sanji's face all but broke Zoro's heart. Why was he torturing the man so?

And the moment was gone.

Sanji turned his back on Zoro, standing as he began to strip from the man's stolen top. He took it off and threw it into the wash basket in the corner of the room along with his underwear, before slipping into the en-suite on the other side of the room.

Zoro got up himself. He was already dressed, having been just lying on top of the covers, not actually sleeping…

He seemed to be doing that a lot now a days. He used to lounge about the place and nap when he could, but now he struggled to drift off. Their home had become cold and uncomfortable.

When Zoro shut his eyes, his mind would be full of dreadful memories… Ones that he didn't want to remember.  
Things he wished he had never seen and hoped to never see ever again...

Zoro left Sanji to his shower, heading downstairs to the large, open plan kitchen/living/dining room. This room was the main reason why he and Sanji bought the house. Sanji got himself the large kitchen with a breakfast bar, a double oven with a fridge-freezer built into the wall. Sanji had managed to get Franky and the others from Galley LA building company to build a fake wall to finish off the Kitchen (with an in-built wine rack) and build a second room so that Sanji got himself his own pantry. It was like how girls get excited for walk-in wardrobes, but for food instead of clothes…  
Not that Sanji didn't also have his own walk-in wardrobe. Technically Sanji and Zoro shared it but Sanji's clothes took up about 80% of the space inside.

Zoro laughed to himself, recalling the memory of an argument between the two about 'rail space'. He sat himself on the sofa, listening to the quickly dying sound as once again, the man was met with the silence with the empty living room...

If anyone looked, they wouldn't realise anything had changed. Everything was as it was... The cooking magazines were still strewn across the coffee table, Sanji's slippers at the foot of the sofa where he took them off whilst watching TV. The remote slipping down between the sofa cushions were it hid every time either one wanted to watch a different channel or film...  
The kitchen immaculate, from where Sanji had kept it pristine, even when depressed.

Everything was as it was...

Zoro's eyes wandered over to the cabinet in the living room. Everything except the photographs there... In a fit of rage Sanji had knocked them all flat and face down so Zoro could no see them. He hadn't the heart to stand them up. Not when Sanji wasn't ready to look at them yet...

It wasn't just Sanji's routine that had changed...  
Usually about now Zoro would be getting ready to go for a run. It would take him just under half an hour, just plenty of time for him to get back for a quick shower before joining Sanji at the breakfast table for a comfortable argument about one thing the man had forgot to do before leaving, or last night...

But as it was, every thing had changed.

Zoro didn't leave the house any more. Sanji sometimes went out, but that was a rare affair, if it ever happened. Anything the pair wanted was usually brought by the others.  
Robin and Franky would bring food every other day. Nami would stop in as often as she could whilst she wasn't busy at work and Chopper would always drop in after every of his shifts at the hospital. Usopp would come with him, as the boy would have to give the young Doctor a lift before taking him back to their flat, whom they shared with Luffy, one the other side of town.  
Luffy would turn up out of the blue at least every day, if not twice a day. Brook came a little less often as he was busy working and would often be off on tour or recording in the studio…

But without fail everyone would come to the house on a Friday night. Sanji would cook a large meal and they would sit and chat or watch TV or just keep each other company…

Zoro let his body slide until he was laid on his back, sprawled out over the couch, staring up at the ceiling above him.  
This was where he'd lay every morning whilst Sanji got ready and did what he needed to do, until the man would come downstairs and make a start on breakfast. He would keep out Sanji's way, but at the same time, staying close even though the two weren't talking to one another.

Zoro would gladly admit to Sanji that he missed talking, fighting, _everything_ if that meant the blonde would just at least talk back. But nothing could change it now.  
Zoro knew that. He was just tormenting himself by thinking he could ever return to the times spent with Sanji.

Everything was broken now...

Suddenly, Sanji's voice called out from upstairs. "Marimo, can you grab me a towel?"

Zoro stared in the direction of the stairs… His chest tightened again as he got up from his seat, heading back up towards their shared bedroom. He couldn't hear the shower flowing any more.

Slowly, Zoro approached the bathroom door. Had Sanji really called out for him? Or was it still just Zoro's mind torturing him further…?  
Was Zoro so weak that he was starting to imagine the idea that Sanji needed him?

Or was it a mistake on Sanji's part. Had he been so lost in his own thoughts that he had believed everything was normal again?

Slowly, Zoro placed his hand on the wood and pushed gently, letting the door swing open. Sanji was stood next to the shower, his lower body wrapped in a towel. His skin gently tinged red in places where the shower had been too hot. Steam collected in the room, rolling off his body like a cape of smoke, furling around him. There was water all over the floor, some of which Sanji had tried to mop up with the bath mat...  
The blonde was ruffling his hair, staring quietly in the mirror.

If this was an ordinary day, Zoro would approach, wrap his arms around the man and whisper teasing words into his ear, only to watch the gentle blush creep onto his boyfriend's cheeks. He'd steal a kiss before Sanji could scold him, and the two would lose themselves in the moment.

Zoro moved closer, silently watching as the man lifted the trademark side fringe away from his eye. The wound that had been just under his usually concealed eye was now only a pale scar; a permanent reminder of Sanji's guilt and Zoro's regret...

"Fucking asshole," Sanji hissed, more to himself than the man behind him as he pulled his fringe down to cover the mark again. Zoro couldn't help but just stare, his chest hurting more and more as he watched the Blonde's back.  
There were more scars covering the pale skin, all healed but still obvious to see for those who knew where to look. Forgetting for a moment, Zoro moved closer to comfort Sanji, his hand hovering over the man's shoulder, a gesture of sympathy...

"Sanji."

But just before Zoro could touch him, the blonde spun around. Zoro pulled away in surprise, realising what he had tried to do.  
The same hopeful look shone in Sanji's eyes, but again, it was gone before Zoro had a chance to realise why it was there...

Sanji marched past the Marimo and back into the bedroom, ignoring him as if he wasn't there.

Zoro just watched.  
He seemed to be doing that a lot lately…

Sanji dried his hair with his towel and threw that to join the rest of the washing in the hamper in the corner of the room. He moved to the walk in wardrobe, ignoring all of his neatly pressed suits and formal trousers. Instead Sanji looked on the right railing. He grabbed one of Zoro's black shirts, one of the ones he would usually nick when he wanted to lounge at home for the day… He pulled on a pair of his own jeans and slippers before slipping from the room, grabbing the washing as he went.  
Zoro followed the man out of the bedroom and down the stairs, his lips closed, his hands in his pockets, his eyes down. Sanji dumped the washing hamper in the utility room, hesitating for a moment to let Zoro pass, as he wandered back into the living room. The man sat himself on the sofa once more.

This silence was killing him...

As if Sanji had heard him, the man flicked on the radio. He didn't hum along to the music, even though Zoro knew it was one of Sanji's favourite songs playing.  
The man simply stood by the kitchen counter. He stared at his chopping board, as if thinking what to cook. After a while, the man moved to the fridge, pulling out a glass dish covered with cling film. It was the coffee cake that Sanji had cooked yesterday…

Zoro followed all of the man's actions as he moved about the kitchen.  
Sanji cut the cake in half and placed half in the oven to warm through before wrapping the rest and putting it back in the fridge. He pulled out the milk and cream, emptying some into a saucepan he had grabbed from the cupboard before adding some to a cup along with coffee granules. He sprinkled sugar in both the cup and saucepan before placed it on the stove and leaning over to the kettle to boil some water… Sanji grabbed a wooden spoon and began to stir the cream milk concoction, temporarily forgetting things as he began to hum along to the radio tune, falling into his own rhythm...

It was only when Sanji cooked did he return to how he used to be. He looked alive. He looked happy...

The Marimo could almost fool himself into thinking everything _was_ normal, and how he could call out to the blonde and ask him how long breakfast would take, and if he had enough time to shower. Or Zoro could switch on the TV and settle into the couch to watch a random action flick, for Sanji to moan at him because the radio was on and Sanji hated it when there was more than one thing on…  
Things would be normal.

But things weren't normal.

No matter how much both of them wanted it to be…

Zoro got up, and sat at his usual place at the table. Sanji brought over the plates. Zoro felt his chest tighten when Sanji brought two, placing one in front of the Marimo and one for himself. At least Sanji wasn't completely ignoring his existence…

The cook returned to the kitchen, grabbing the cake and turning off the oven. He turned off the stove and poured the cream over both slices of cake on separate plates. He grabbed a cup of coffee and juggled all of it over to the table before going to put the saucepan on soak and grab cutlery. The man returned to the dining room table, blatantly making sure not to look at Zoro.

Instead he picked up his fork and dug into his meal. There was a moment when he hesitated, gingerly taking the coffee cup to take a sip.  
Zoro knew he didn't drink coffee. It was meant for him...

Sanji kept his eyes away, eating in silence.

Zoro missed how everything was before.  
He missed the talking and the fighting.

He missed having the connection with Sanji.  
He missed touching him, holding him, having him close by. Zoro missed pulling Sanji to his arms after a heated argument and pinning the blonde to his chest whilst he continued to rant about stupid things, for Sanji to finally calm down and hug the man back. He missed the muffled insult that would follow and the gentle kiss that meant they had made up.

Zoro missed taunting the blonde for his lady chasing games and the random swooning he would do to random girls off the street or on the TV. He missed the cute confessions and reassurances that would follow by proof of love or lust.  
He missed teasing the cook about his food and tasting the delicious meals that Sanji would work so hard for, just for Zoro.

He missed the arguments that got too heated, when blows would be exchanged and the two would spar like teenagers fighting for the same girl, although they were fighting for each other.

Zoro missed flirting with the man, the closeness they shared, the way Sanji would wiggle his hips just for Zoro... He missed the hot nights they spent between the sheets and the dozy calm mornings that followed. Sometimes the rushed mornings when they slept in or the days just spent in bed because Zoro was too wilful and Sanji too alluring.  
He missed meeting Sanji late at work at the Baratie after a day at work or a long run through the park. He missed the drive home together, when Sanji would rant about rude customers or incompetent staff and his dreams of opening his own restaurant but the guilt about leaving his father to cope on his own...

The man missed the large parties both he and Sanji would host, and how the Cook was continually being kept in the kitchen to cook endlessly for Luffy and Ace when they came round with the others.  
He missed the man doting on Chopper and giving his lady-love advice to Usopp and the endless joking with Franky and the perverted comments he shared with Brook.  
He actually missed watching the Love-cook swooning over Robin and Nami, although that had lessened a lot once both girls had found themselves respective partners.

Zoro missed everything, but most of all, he missed Sanji.

The glisten in his eyes when he'd see the man. The relaxed smile he would share when he was stressed, just to thank Zoro for being there for him, the smile just for him. The man's nimble fingers that were covered in scars and nicks from cooking, ones which Zoro would lace between his own sturdier ones. The man's legs, which would lace around Zoro whilst they made out. The way they'd link together behind Zoro's back as the Marimo picked the blonde up, pressing him against a wall to push them closer. The indescribable urge they share to become closer... to become one.

Sanji.

He missed Sanji.

But no matter how much he missed Sanji, it wouldn't change anything…  
It wouldn't because...

Because Zoro was dead.

* * *

 _I'm going to go hide now..._


	2. Four Months Thirteen Days Eight Hours

_Hey Guys..._

 _So I finally got around to writing another chapter! It's really hard to balance all of my fanfics plus work and life and urgh its all a pain. I wish i could just do writing for a living instead._

 _And if you can't quite understand why I have a plot with a dead Zoro, I'll give you a hint - He's not a ghost._

 _Enjoy x_

* * *

 **What You Mean To Me**

 **Chapter Two:** Four Months, Thirteen Days, Eight Hours

 **Sanji**

Sanji felt himself cry out, his hand extended up, the last fragments of his nightmare glittering away to reveal the morning light filtering through his bedroom window.

 _Another morning,_ Sanji thought bitterly. When was his life going to end so he could no longer suffer having to struggle through everyday like it was a tedious chore…

Sanji had tried not existing. But his efforts were in vain when Luffy had barged down his door after not hearing from him for three days. He'd found the blonde just lying in his kitchen, curled up, weak and fragile like a new born, as if Sanji was trying to ignore life itself and let death take him also….

Sanji was broken. He wasn't ashamed to admit it.

He had died when Zoro had…

Sanji sighed to himself, wiping the tears from his eyes as he dragged back the covers. He wasn't ashamed to cry. Not when no one could see him like this…  
Sanji let his legs dangle over the edge, fighting the urge to look over his shoulder at Zoro's side of the bed. There were times in the morning, when he wasn't quite awake, when his mind was vulnerable… and Sanji could still believe that Zoro was sleeping peacefully beside him. Now, he knew Zoro wasn't there… but at the same time, Sanji wanted to check.

No, he needed to check.

As if he heard it, a gentle whisper brushed past Sanji's ear. "…Sanji…"  
Slowly the Cook turned his head to Zoro's usual place... Empty.

Of course.

But Sanji couldn't fight the disappointment and heartbreak at the same time, letting his shoulders sag underneath Zoro's stolen top; the one he claimed as a nightshirt back when they were first dating...  
When was he going to get over his boyfriends death? Probably never…

It had already been four months since the accident.

 _Four months, thirteen days, eight hours._

Sanji and Zoro had been coming home from another of Luffy's parties. Sanji, who hadn't been drinking, was the one to drive. Not that Zoro had drunk anything either. One of his tournaments and he didn't want to waste a day with a hangover, as he had put it.

The two had gotten into an argument. Something stupid. Or something important.  
Sanji had forgotten.

He only hoped that it was something important...

It had been raining that July evening, an odd prospect at the drought they had been experiencing.  
There was a lorry.

Blinding lights, screams, sobbing, his own broken voice calling out for Zoro who was limp, next to him in the passenger seat, bloody and unconscious.

Or was he already dead.

Sanji couldn't remember.  
He just remembered seeing the man's eyes closed.  
They hadn't opened since.

Sanji threw away his thoughts as he slipped from Zoro's top. For a split second he caressed the material in his fingers, pulling it closer, taking in the Marimo's smell. It was faded, dying with every wash and night that Sanji slipped into it before bed.  
He didn't want to erase Zoro's existence that way, but… there was nothing he could do. He needed the man beside him still. He still needed the Marimo's support...

Sanji threw the night top into the washing hamper in the corner of the bedroom and headed to the en-suite, making a point not to look at the bed as he did this…

Sanji made sure that the shower was scalding before he stepped in.  
It numbed his pain and thoughts…

But it couldn't last forever.

Sanji washed his body slowly, trying to prolong the inevitable when he would finally have to face another day of existing.  
Sanji stepped out of the shower, his hand reaching blindly for the towel rack, his eyes shut form the water that was running down his face. He couldn't feel one there… Shit he had forgotten to grab one on his way through.

"Marimo, can you grab me a towel?"

The blonde had called out without thinking. He stood, feeling his chest tighten, having spoken Zoro's nickname for the first time since losing him…

There was no response.  
No insult of being a dither brain. No hearty laugh or quick peck on the lips as Zoro wrapped the towel around Sanji's body form him, pulling him back against his broad chest for a hug. No insult from the blonde of sweaty stench because the Marimo had just come home from a run…  
Home.

 _Home._

This was their _home._ They had lived here _together.  
_ For three years.

Three, long, wonderful, painful, romantic, irritating, beautiful, fantastic, _precious years._

But now there was nothing.

Just emptiness and the soft patter of shower droplets, playing a melody alongside Sanji's breaking heart.

Silently, Sanji walked to the cupboard on the other side of the room and pulled a towel from inside, wrapping it around the lower half of his body, another to drape over his shoulders. He grabbed a third and threw it angrily on the floor, trying to wipe up any water that had dripped from his feet as he crossed the room.  
He stood next to the shower, in front of the bathroom mirror, its surface holding the thin layer of condensation, only just obscuring Sanji's sad face. He could see his red eyes clearly against his pale skin, his sunken face – ill looking from his depression. His hair lay thickly to his face, his usual sweeping curtain pulled lower than usual to hide the all too obvious memory of _that night…_

Sanji ruffled his hair, catching sight of the damn thing. Slowly, with trembling fingers, the man pushed his hair up away from his face, revealing two grey tinted eyes, no longer shining the wondrous blue that Zoro had fallen for. His lips were slightly chapped, no longer soft and smooth, treasuring moments when Zoro's breath mingled with his before they pressed their lips together in gentle kisses, or when they fought for territory of the other's mouth…

Sanji stared at the ugly scar just beneath his left eye.  
The permanent reminder that Zoro had been alive and it was all Sanji's fault that he was _dead._

"Fucking asshole," Sanji hissed to himself, wishing that he could just have the courage to pick that razor off the sink and hack away at his wrists… but Sanji was scared.

Sanji was scared of what his friends would think when they found his lifeless body.  
He was scared of how they would cope, how his Dad would react, how they'd feel…  
They'd all blame themselves...

Sanji was scared of seeing Zoro again.

Wherever they met, if they ever got the chance to meet again…  
Would Zoro be angry at Sanji for taking his own life just so that he could avoid the pain of living without the man? Would Zoro forgive him if he did? What would Zoro do? Would things return to how they were before? Living in bliss and peace…

Would he even _see_ Zoro again or was this the end.

Had Sanji only been granted five years with the man?  
Two years of painful flirting, awkward dates and heated fighting? Insults and jokes and baiting for sparring matches. Competitions between the pair about running fast or hitting or kicking people. Going random places because they felt like it, breaking rules because they wanted to act like teenagers again.  
Those awkward moments when Zoro complimented Sanji and the man in turn complimented the Marimo. The awkward proposal of going steady. The official " _boyfriend"_ status.

The move into their new house.  
The three years that followed that was full of moments when they stole kisses and stole each other's hearts. The talk of family and adoption, fostering or raising a pet together because they weren't quite ready to be full time dads just yet. The thoughts of marriage and the concerns of Zoro thinking the same. The days spent lounging together, doing nothing better than wallowing in each other's company…

"Sanji…"

Zoro's voice...

Sanji spun around, a gentle brush of cold air washing over him as he did. But at the sight of the empty bathroom, Sanji's heart sank once more. How many times could it break and Sanji still feel it, beating away sadly, keeping him alive just to torture him more….

Sanji marched from the bathroom, disposing of his towels on top of the washing hamper after drying his body and hair quickly. He headed to the walk in wardrobe, ignoring his neatly pressed suits all lined up and waiting… Instead Sanji pulled out one of Zoro's plain black tops. He grabbed his own pair of jeans, knowing that Zoro's wouldn't fit him. He snatched up his soft socks before slipping from the room, grabbing the washing as he went. Sanji dumped the washing hamper in the utility room, hesitating for a moment before heading to the kitchen.

Breakfast.  
Another mundane chore.

Sanji no longer took pride in cooking. When he was by himself he would usually skip his meals. The usual suffocating hunger would return but it never managed to kill the man. Much to his dismay, he couldn't kill himself by starvation anyway.  
The others had made sure of that. He had a visitor at least once a day, and on Fridays everyone would come around to eat a feast that Sanji cooked when he had the energy to pretend that everything was ok.

Sanji flicked on the radio, feeling the silence of the house too overbearing to deal with.  
Yes, he may have been lonely, but with the pitying expressions of his friends and the soft smiles that they gave him as reassurance….

They were just too much.

Sanji didn't need them.  
He didn't know what he needed.

No.

Sanji _knew_ what he needed.

He needed Zoro.  
He needed the Marimo with him, _beside_ him.  
He wanted the man's broad chest to cry upon, to bury his face into like when they fought or when Sanji watched a sappy movie and something tragic or anything slightly sad happened, to which Zoro would insult him and laugh at his stupid romantic nature and how too into a movie he would get… Before kissing him on the nose with the phrase, " _but you are my adorable, love-cook. You are my Sanji."_

Sanji fought back the sob that tried to break through his expressionless exterior. To busy himself, he moved to the fridge. He couldn't deny his hunger.  
Starving himself was difficult enough without him being a coward. Instead of making himself something fancy that wouldn't be appreciated or fussed over, or Sanji being made fun of by a certain Marimo who really didn't see the necessity of a full course meal for breakfast…

Sanji settled on the coffee cake that he had made yesterday to use up the ingredients Robin had brought over when she brought the rest of the man's groceries. He crudely cut the cake in half, placing one part in the oven to warm through whilst the other was buried in the fridge once more. He let his hands work by themselves, not sure what they were doing as they pulled out milk and cream and a saucepan from the cupboard, sugar from the pot on the side… coffee granules…

Sanji moved in a daze. It wasn't until he found himself sat at the dining room table, eating that cake did he realise what he had done.  
Sat in front of him, in Zoro's chair, was a plate with cake and cream, just like he had. There was a mug of coffee for the Marimo as well.

Instead of letting it go to waste, the cook picked up the mug and gently sipped at the brown liquid. It tasted bitter, a sharp tang in his mouth, perfectly complimenting that cake….

It reminded him of Zoro. How Zoro's kisses would taste before the man left for work or on the days were Sanji was rushing late, cursing when he couldn't find his tie and why he should've ironed the suit last night for Zoro to grab him and plant his lips against Sanji's, halting the man and giving him just a second to calm down…

Sanji brushed his lips fondly, staring at the sofa instead of the seat in front of him. Zoro's seat…  
Zoro's place on the sofa…

The rings of dried coffee on the coffee table when the Marimo hadn't used a coaster…

Memories returned.

Arguments about mundane things. Flirting. The treasure hunts for the TV remote that always managed to hide itself between the cushions. The gentle touching and caressing.  
Cute moments high-schoolers would share and heated adult games of love and lust and sex...

The times that they had watched One Day with Anne Hathaway and Sanji had bawled his eyes out like a little girl to which he melted into Zoro's embrace, who promised to never leave him, promising that they would be together forever…  
 _Forever._

 _Nothing lasts forever._

* * *

The front door bell rang before Sanji had finished eating.  
He didn't bother getting up.

If it was the postman he'd leave the package by the door.  
If it was a salesman, they'd go away anyway.

If it was one of his friends… they all had a key.

Luffy had given everyone a key after he had found Sanji a week after Zoro's death. It was something he had done for his own reassurance more than anything...

Sanji had his back to the living room door when it opened. The tapping of high heels was heard; no happy greeting, no pointless ' _how are you'_ questions. Robin.  
"Good morning."

Sanji laid his fork on his plate, taking it to the kitchen as Robin placed two shopping bags on the side. He didn't miss her sad stare at the second plate sat at Zoro's place at the dining room table…  
"I've brought more meat than last Friday," Robin said, mindfully ignoring the blonde's heartbreaking blunder. "Luffy said he was going to bring Ace this time. The two of you haven't seen each other in a while. Usopp told me this morning and thank god he did; we barely had enough meat last time."

Sanji nodded, pretending everything was normal - as normal as normal could be. "Is anyone else coming? What about Brook. I heard he was still on his tour but I hadn't heard where he is now-"  
"He managed to get an early flight this morning. He'll be landing in half an hour. Franky and I are going to go pick him up. I want you to come with us."

"I'm glad they let him come home," Sanji said, ignoring Robin's last comment. If he decided to go down that road, he knew where that would take him and he wasn't ready to have that argument. Not know. Not when he was this vulnerable...

"Sanji don't ignore-." But Robin was cut off by the sounds of her husband wrestling with shopping bags by the front door.

"Will someone give me a hand with these," Franky begged, appearing at the living room door. He had about six bags in each hand, each filled to the brim and looking like they'd split any second. Sanji gladly hurried over, thankful for the excuse to get away from Robin and _that_ conversation. If they were picking Brook up, that meant they were going _there_ to see _him.  
_ Sanji didn't want to ever visit _that_ place again.

"We weren't finished talking," Robin said, her voice deadly calm, the usual tone she took when she was scolding someone.

"Yes we have," Sanji replied curtly, matching Robin's tone. He looked back to her, staring her down as she narrowed her eyes further. He wasn't going there. She couldn't make him. And if she tried, like last time, he would lock her and everyone else out. It was why everyone else, except Chopper, had given up on the idea.  
They had all decided just to support Sanji...

"Sanji it's been three months since you left the house-"  
"Four."

Robin stumbled on her words at the man's interruption.  
Sanji could see her thinking. _Had it really been that long?_

 _Four months, Thirteen days and Eight hours._

Twenty weeks.

One hundred and forty one days.

Three thousand, three hundred and ninety two hours…

And all that time nothing had changed.

Zoro was still dead.  
Sanji, still alone. Still hurting.

"Leave him be Nico," Franky said, managing to wrangle the shopping bags into the kitchen whilst the other two glared at each other, not lifting a finger to help. "No," Robin said indignantly, much like a child would when throwing a tantrum. Although there was something dangerous in her voice as well… As if she was nearing her final voice...  
"He needs to stop this," she said, pointing at Sanji, talking through him to her blue haired husband who huffed to himself. Both men knew what going up against the raven-haired woman meant but still, Sanji refused to go _there._ He would rather stand up to the woman.

"All he does is mope about the house. He's not doing anything anymore. It's stupid, trying to dig his own grave. All he is doing is mourning Zoro when-" Robin stopped immediately at the look on the blonde's face.

That heartbroken, defeated look.  
That detached sadness, the look of someone who had lost everything they held dear and left with nothing but the pain of memories and the torture of all the _what ifs._

 _What if_ Sanji and Zoro hadn't gone to the party that night?  
 _What if_ Zoro had lived?

 _What if_ Zoro had proposed, and the two had gotten married?  
 _What if_ the two had started their own family together?

 _What if...?_

 _W_ _hat if, what if, what if...?_

It was why the others refused to talk about Zoro.  
If his name came up, or the mere mention of something he'd done…

Sanji would break.

As he was doing now.  
His knees trembling, lip quivering, eyes tearing.  
A cold feeling washed over him, his heart tightening until Sanji was sure it was going to burst under the pressure.

Sanji couldn't take it anymore. He felt his body dropping, the darkness all around him threatening to swallow him whole...  
Franky grabbed the man by the shoulders just as Sanji's legs buckled, saving him from falling to the ground.

Immediately someone was by his side.

"Sanji I'm sorry! I didn't... to… I mean... Zoro… all wanted you to… You need to- Zoro- He… All of us… We…"

Robin's words just spun around in Sanji's head. He couldn't really understand what she was talking about.  
Why was the room spinning? Why did his chest hurt? He felt wet on his chest. Did he spill something down himself?

Suddenly, a tiny squeak was calling his name, a blinding light flashing in his eyes.

"…ji.. anji.. …ear me Sanji. Sanji? Sanji! Wake up!"

Something cold was pressed onto Sanji's head. He felt himself gasp, the odd taste of mixed foods in his mouth.

Why…? What was…?

Chopper was stood in front of him, a small torch fumbling between the boy's fingers. His eyes were tearing…  
Robin was stood behind, her usual calm demeanour obscured by the worried look on her face, her tear stained cheeks. Nami was hugging her.

 _Nami,_ when did she get here?  
Where did Franky go? When did Chopper get here?

And why was Luffy here as well? The boy was talking into his phone but quickly hung up when he saw the blonde was awake.  
"Sanji! You're ok! Thank god!"  
But Sanji's eyes rolled to the man behind Luffy.

 _He_ looked worse than all of them. _His_ face plastered was with a feared expression, _his_ eyes sad, a look of longing and relief all mixed behind anger and worry and distress...

"Z-Zoro?"

The man's eyes widened, all other emotions masked by an expression of shock and confusion.  
"Zoro?" Sanji asked again, feeling his heart lift at the sight of the love of his life.  
But the pain in his chest reminded him that he had killed Zoro.

Zoro wasn't there.

This ' _Zoro'_ was the figment of his imagination, the hallucinations of a madman who was suffering from a broken heart…  
But while _he_ was still here…

"Z-Zoro. I'm so sorry… I'm so, so sorry…" He could apologise for everything.  
Sanji felt his tears pour from his eyes, forgetting the others that were with him.

His ' _Zoro_ ' hurried to his side, dropping down to kneel beside Sanji.  
The cook lifted a hand to touch his pained face.

He could tell him one last time...

 _"I love you…"_

* * *

 _So much heartbreak for Sanji! Why am I so cruel to the pair of them! And is it really a hallucination? Is Zoro really there? Is he alive? Was everything all in Sanji's head?_

 _.x._

 _Just to clarify quickly - Sanji had a heart attack induced by shock - just in case there were any questions._

* * *

 _And hey if you like this go read my other two One Piece Fanfics: The Lives that Bind us is another Modern AU idea. The Little One That Follows Me is in the One Piece Universe although it had greatly wandered away from anything that will actually happen.  
_ _Go read them. You might like them. :D_


	3. I See You

_Hey Y'all_

 _Third Chapter woop woop_

 _Sort of different to the first two because it starts to jump about who's point of view it is about half way through_

 _Anywho,_ _Enjoy_

* * *

 **What You Mean To Me**

 **Chapter Three:** I See You

 **Zoro**

Something was wrong.  
Everyone was frozen.

Sanji's eyes widened slowly, his eyes welling with tears. Robin looked shocked. She had done something wrong…

Zoro noticed before the others did. He could see Sanji's legs shaking, as if they would give out any second.

Without thinking, Zoro rushed forward. "Sanji! Calm down!" He called out, forgetting the man couldn't hear him, his hands extended to keep him standing…  
But Zoro's hand passed right through Sanji's shoulder. He only had a split second to think about the heat where his hand was before he remembered he could no longer touch the man…

Franky stepped in. He took hold of the man's shoulders, slowly lowering him down to the kitchen floor as Sanji's eyes rolled back into his head.

Zoro was horrified. Robin was trying to talk to the blonde but it was clear that Sanji couldn't hear her… "Sanji I'm sorry! I didn't mean to say it… It's just, I mean..."  
Zoro blocked her out, his eyes on Sanji only. He kept trying to grab the man's shaking body, to place his hand on his skin to comfort him, to hold him…

Zoro didn't notice Franky calling Chopper or the others. He missed Nami and Luffy arriving with Usopp and Chopper, who rushed to Sanji's side immediately. He didn't hear the conversation between Luffy and Franky, who ran out of the house with Usopp in tow…

"Sanji… Sanji can you hear me? It's me Chopper," the young doctor was saying as he shone a light into the unresponsive blonde's eye, wiping away the stomach fluids that Sanji was bringing up; a result of the shock, Chopper explained when the man had first begun to be sick.  
It was all repeated over and over, until finally, Sanji showed signs of consciousness.

Everyone breathed out a sigh of relief. Luffy pulled out his phone to ring Franky, Zoro hovering near him as he unconsciously stayed out of Chopper's way. The little Doctor was still talking to Sanji, his eyes fluttering slightly. He looked at everyone in turn, the confusion on his face a clear sign that he didn't know what was happening. Luffy hung up his mobile quickly, moving closer to the blonde.  
"Sanji. Thank god you're okay!"

Everyone shared relieved glances, letting out a sigh from the breath they hadn't realised they had been holding.

Zoro stared at Sanji. He wasn't shaking anymore and he didn't seem as pale… as… earlier…

Sanji was looking at him.  
 _Sanji,_ was looking at _him._

Right? It looked like that. His eyes definitely seemed to be fixed on something where Zoro's head was…

"Z-Zoro?"

The marimo's chest tightened. How?  
How could Sanji see him? He was dead. He wasn't even a ghost. Well, at least he didn't think he was. But he was still here all the same and for some reason, Sanji could _see him._

"Zoro?"

Yes. Sanji could _see him.  
_ He was trying to sit himself up, his own face scrunched into furrowed lines as if he also couldn't figure out what was happening… But that didn't matter.

Sanji could _see him._

He could apologise. He could tell Sanji to get over him, to keep going on with his life and forget about the man. To stop hurting like he was doing know. To stop getting so worked up over the mere mention of Zoro's name that it gives him a heart attack every time…

"Z-Zoro. I'm so sorry… I'm so, so sorry…"

The marimo rushed to Sanji's side, ignoring the others. He crouched down beside the man, his own words stuck in his throat.  
He needed to apologise, he needed to tell Sanji to stop loving him…

He needed to tell him that he loved him.

Sanji lifted a single hand, reaching out to connect the pair. His eyes were tearing but he didn't look sad. He didn't look lonely or lost or depressed. He wasn't tired or angry or confused. He was Sanji.

And Sanji was happy.

"I... love...you."

* * *

 **Franky**

The drive to the airport was mainly done in silence. Usopp was fiddling with his mobile in the passenger seat and Franky was too busy occupied with his own thoughts. They were about Sanji.  
He looked thinner this morning.

It had barely been a day since he saw the man, but there was a shocking difference. Franky doubted that the man would be up to cooking for tonight's meal. That probably meant Nico would take over with the help of Nami...

Suddenly Usopp's phone began to ring. He scrambled to answer if, cussing under his breath when he nearly dropped it. "H-hello? Luffy? Is Sanji okay?"  
Franky couldn't help but concentrate on the voice on the receiver, letting his subconscious drive towards the Airport. "That's good then," Usopp said with a relieved sigh, lifting a thumb to Franky.

Sanji was awake. And he was okay. That was good.

"Ok. We're just pulling into the airport now," he told the phone as Franky pulled into the closest parking spot. The man had done this so many times before he could've walked to the terminal with his eyes closed. As it was, they were slightly late - or the plane was earlier than predicted, because Brook was stood waiting at the exit with his suitcase.

He offered a smile as greeting, but without the usual sing-song accompaniment. Franky could tell he was tired. Besides it was surprising. He had just sat on a four hour flight just so he could attend the customary Friday night feast... which may not even happen.

As he made his way over, Franky turned to Usopp, who had now hung up. "Don't mention Sanji. He'll want to visit Zoro first..." Usopp nodded in silent agreement before slipping out of the van to help the musician with his bags.

"I hope you weren't waiting long," Franky said, pulling the car out of the car park, heading towards the East exit. It would only take them ten minutes to get to the hospital, if there wasn't any traffic.  
"Not bad," Brook said, deciding to participate in the small talk. He sounded tired, but true to himself, Brook didn't want the other two to worry. "How was Europe?" Usopp turned around in his seat, doing a little better at making conversation than the blue haired man who was driving.

"It was different," the man laughed quietly. "But all these tours are wearing me out. I almost debated retirement."

The pair kept the conversation going whilst Franky drove towards the hospital. Brook hadn't asked about Sanji yet. It was as if he knew to avoid that subject, for the time being.

Before they knew it, Franky had parked the van in the hospital car park, placing his visitors permit on the dashboard. Brook grabbed his violin case and the three headed towards the reception.  
They took the same corridor they always did, to the far end up and up three flights of stairs. Down another identical corridor and into the permanent resident ward.

Room 303.

As he always did, Franky knocked on the door. No reply.  
Gently, Franky pushed the door open, to reveal the pristine hospital room.

It was silent, except for a single continuous beep of a life support machine.

Zoro lay on the bed next to it.

Franky couldn't help but grimace at the sight of him. His skin was pale where it wasn't bruised from the medicine and treatment. Bandages had been wrapped over weak skin from where the man rejected certain medicines. Chopper knew why. It was confusing to listen to him when he explained...  
Even so, additional tubes had been added... The man already had an oxygen mask on, tubes for feeding, nutrients and pumping out the waste. He was on several different drips; water, blood, antibiotics...  
His right side was heavily bandaged; arm and leg in a cast from where his side of the car had crushed his body when he attempted to shield Sanji form the damage. That's why the blonde had come off with minor injuries.

Because Zoro had jumped in the way.

"Hey man. How you holding up?" Usopp sat himself on the end of the man's bed, mindful of his legs. "Sanji's still missing you, you know. So hurry up and get better." Franky watched as Brook approached, unclasping his violin case and pulling forth a small scroll-like tube.  
"I found this while I was on tour," he said, unfurling the roll of paper to reveal an announcement poster of one of the Marimo's tournaments. "Seems like you're still really popular over there," he said, pinning the poster beside several other souvenirs; gifts he had brought back from his concerts abroad.

The three stayed there for an hour, talking amongst themselves about the week and random things. They talked about Mihawk: Zoro's rival, and how he was still the reigning champion in the swordsmanship world. Zoro was days away from challenging him in a real duel before his accident stopped all that.  
They talked about Ace moving in with Vivi up in Alubarna, about Coby who was now a fully fledged Police Chief, and had moved to the next city over to run the police headquarters there.

Chopper was doing well at the hospital, and once he graduated from Med-school in the coming Spring, he would legally be able to take over the hospital his dad had left him.  
Nami's bank company was doing well and she was slowly raking the money in, some of which she had donated to the Baratie to have it refurbished as thanks to everyone with helping her out a while back.

They announced Robin's pregnancy and Brook's new tour dates, Luffy's plans to propose to Nami and Usopp's plans to travel with Kya.

The time passed quickly. It wasn't until Franky's phone buzzed, with a text from Robin, did they realise just how long they had stayed.

"See you next week Zoro," they said as they left, retracing their steps to Franky's van. No one mentioned the extra medicine Zoro had. No one said how he looked paler, frailer even. They all knew what was happening... Only, no one wanted to day it out loud...

"How's Sanji?"

It was Brook that asked, and Franky that answered. "He had a panick attack today. Chopper and everyone rushed around. He woke up before we picked you up." Straight to the point. No beating around the bush.  
"And how is he now?"

"I don't know. We'll have to see."

* * *

 **Zoro**

Sanji was acting as if nothing had happened. He was at his usual place in the kitchen humming along to a new song on the radio. Nami was beside him, making small talk and insulting Ace, who had bailed on them that evening, even though they had already bought extra meat.  
No one had brought up Sanji's ' _hallucination.'_

It was as if it never happened...

Luffy and Chopper had taken residence on the sofa beside Robin, happily watching a crappy romantic-action flick that Sanji and he loved to take the piss out of. They'd scavenged the DVD rack. Sanji hadn't batted an eyelid, although Zoro knew he was reliving the moments he had spent with the Marimo on the sofa.

Zoro knew because he was also.

Suddenly the doorbell rung and three tired looking faces came through the door. Immediately, everyone ran to great Brook, but Robin and Sanji, who were more dignified, and in Sanji's case, he had the food to cook and protect from Luffy.  
Right on cue also, as the food was then served onto the dining table. Zoro sat himself down also, in his usual seat.

No one else sat there. It was the respectful thing to do.

The evening passed slowly, and with it, so did Sanji's pain.

Colour returned to the man's eyes, a pinkness to his cheeks. He looked relaxed and he even laughed when Chopper choked on some vegetables and accidentally sprayed Franky with a mixture of gravy, carrot and orange squash. Zoro couldn't help but watch.

Sanji was truly happy like this. Yes, it was a distraction from reality, but the distraction was working. That was something at least...

Dinner was scarfed down and pudding was treated the same. Before Sanji could begin to clear the plates though, Luffy caught his arm, keeping him seated. Zoro noticed the glance to the others.

The happiness vanished from the room, replaced by a foreboding fear...

"Sanji. It's nearly been four and a half months-"  
"Luffy-"  
"Let me finish," the boy said, raising a hand and cutting the blonde off. "All this time that you've spent locked in your house, nothing has changed. So please, _please,_ come to the hospital with us." Sanji turned away, his eyes already threatning to tear. But his voice was like nails on a chalkboard. "I told you. I'm never going there again."

Luffy hesitated. His eyes were cast downwards, before they found Chopper's face. "Sanji... please." The boy sighed, crossing his fingers and staring down at the table.

"Zoro doens't have much time left."

* * *

 _Again._

 _I apologise for nothing._


	4. Is This Real? Am I Real?

_No introduction, just hurry up and read it!_

* * *

 **What You Mean To Me**

 **Chapter Four:** Is This Real? Am I Real?

 **Sanji**

The weight of Luffy's words still lingered. He could hear them echoing over and over in his mind as he sat himself up, faced with the darkness of the early morning. It was Saturday. Before the sunrise and the guilt that was sure come with it. Sanji turned to his side. He could see the phantom shape of his lover lying beside him...  
Sanji was just hallucinating again. Zoro wasn't really there. He was lying in the cold, clean hospital bed a few miles away. Hooked up to breathing apparatus, drips and monitors.  
He was too far away... yet not far enough. When Sanji wasn't focused, he could hear the echoing beep of the heart monitor. He could hear the rattled gasps of air as Zoro tried to breathe... those sounds still haunted him.

Sanji had been with him for 3 days after the accident. One arm in a sling, the other clutching Zoro's hand. His lifeline... Sanji had been Zoro's, and Zoro had been Sanji's. It didn't matter what had happened because they would pull through it together...  
There had been talking among the nurses. Speculations between doctors and specialists and bastards who didn't know what they were talking about. That Zoro might not survive...

The nightmares had followed. Sanji woke screaming, his grip on his lover stronger than ever yet it didn't keep the reality from sinking in. Zoro had taken most of the impact. He had curled his body around Sanji's, held him tight whilst the car cocooned them in smouldering metal... His body had broken under the force. Arm snapped, leg snapped. Ribs shattered, lung punctured. His heart stopped inside his chest for too long... his brain had shut down... All for Sanji. To protect Sanji.

That's what the doctors and the paramedics said when they told him he only had a dislocated wrist... in that way, Sanji was lucky.

Zoro was lucky to wake up...

Everyone had showered Sanji with statistics and percentages. He didn't want to know the one in a million chance Zoro had of opening his eyes again. And even then, they said he wouldn't be Zoro. Head trauma had caused blood to clot in his brain. His body had neglected to send blood to his broken limbs in hope to save what little it had left.  
Probably of those functioning if he woke... was slim.

Sanji stared at Zoro's shape. "Do you hate me...?" He whispered into the darkness. "That's what I'm afraid of the most. I want you to wake up," He confessed, unconsciously pulling the edges of the bed sheet around him. "But I'm scared you'll hate me. If you can't walk... if you can't even hold your swords. It would be my fault..." Sanji felt his heart thunder in his chest. All of his was true of course. He couldn't bare it if Zoro hated him for destroying his dream to be the greatest swordsman in the world...

"I don't hate you."

Sanji felt himself tense up. Zoro's voice... the rough baritone of words. A sound Sanji thought he'd never hear again, but his brain continued to torture him with these phantom memories of his lover.

"You should," Sanji whispered, unwillingly playing games, going along with this imaginary world. His hallucinations.  
Or was this all a dream. A nightmare he was yet to wake up from...

"And why is that?" Dream-Zoro asked, sitting up. The bed sheet fell away from his body, to reveal his toned muscles and broad chest that Sanji used to take comfort from, lying next to him. Using his chest as a pillow, a support for when he was tired or stressed...  
Sanji turned to the memory beside him, smiling. He was going to pretend this was a dream. A good dream. Where Zoro was still alive...  
"When we first met," Sanji said, scooting closer to ensure man, a hand hovering above his skin. He was still afraid to touch him, still afraid to admit this wasn't real. But there was heat beneath his hand and solidity to the human form that shared his bed and shared his heart. "You told me that your only goal in life was to be the best."  
"And you told me that I was a fool for thinking such things," Zoro smirked, his fingers entwining the man's golden locks, twirling them round his fingers like he used to do... "You said it was all but impossible and dreams like that were only found in movies and books."  
"And you asked me what my dream was," Sanji continued, moving himself closer. "The All Blue... My own restaurant..."

Zoro smiled, resting his forehead against Sanji's. "My dream has changed. It's grown." Sanji couldn't see Zoro's smile on his lips. He couldn't help but relax as the smell of the man washed over him, calming him...

Zoro continued.  
"I still wanted to be the best swordsman in the world, but I wanted you by my side as well. I wanted to propose to you in some cheesy way you'll find it awkwardly romantic. I wanted you to be my husband and I wanted to be yours. I wanted to fight with you about the stupidest of things. I wanted to kiss you for no reason and hold you because I love you. I wanted to argue and laugh with you. I wanted to hate you so much that I wanted to kill you and love you so much that it nearly killed me. I wanted to grow old with you and raise children together. I wanted us to argue about whether our daughter is suited to karate or Ballet and scare away the boys that wanted to date her. I wanted to watch you teach her to cook and teach her to fight. I wanted us to cheer for our son when he was on the football team and give him 'the talk' when he found his first girlfriend. I wanted to watch them go off to college and laugh when you cry about them leaving home. I wanted to spend time together as a family, spend Christmas and thanksgiving together. Spoil the grandchildren rotten and tell them stories of when we were young and stupid."

"I wanted to live my life with you, Sanji. I wanted to make mistakes over and over until we got it right. I wanted to screw up with the simplest of things and listen to you yelling at me about how much of a numbskull I am. I wanted the life we would've had together. I wanted us to be together for eternity."

Sanji couldn't hold back his tears as he placed his lips firmly against Zoro's. The heat surged through him as tears splashed down his cheeks. "I love you," Sanji whispered breathlessly, pressing his lips to Zoro's once more. He forgot about this being a dream. He forgot about this being a hallucination and that any minute now Zoro would vanish and he'd be left with empty bed sheets...  
Sanji forgot all of that. All he could think was Zoro. All he could feel was Zoro. His arms around him, his fingers in his hair, his lips on his own... Zoro's tongue, Zoro's breath. His scent. His body against Sanji's...

* * *

 **Zoro**

Zoro wouldn't have mind dying again, if it meant that he could treasure that moment forever. When Sanji truly looked at him again, smiling that way that Sanji always did.  
The blonde beside him yawned, pulling himself to sit up, and rub the sleep from his eyes.

This was different. This was almost… normal.

"Morning," Zoro said, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. Something inside him was hoping that Sanji would hear, that it would all go back to normal…  
Sanji did turn. His single blue eye fixed on Zoro's brown ones.

"Morning," Sanji said slowly, smiling.  
Zoro couldn't contain his grin, leaning over to plant a kiss on Sanji's lips. "I'm going to go make breakfast," he said before the Cook could do or say anything to shatter this moment. Zoro jumped out of bed, and all but danced out of the room. He was laughing to himself as he entered the kitchen, flicking on the kettle for coffee, and the radio for music. He started rocking out to Bon Jovi's 'Have a nice day,' as he raided the fridge.

Zoro wasn't going to think about this. He was just going to go with it. Because if he stopped and thought about it, Zoro would realise this wasn't real….  
So Zoro just danced around the kitchen, toasting bread, frying eggs and cooking sausages for a cooked breakfast. It was one of the dishes that Sanji had taught him when they first moved in together and one that Zoro felt that he had particularly mastered. He started singing along to the radio, unaware of Sanji coming down the stairs.

"What you said last night…" he began, catching Zoro in the middle of playing air guitar on a spatula. "I made breakfast," he said, interrupting the blonde. He would ignore those conversations and just savour the moments. Sanji made to open his mouth but just smiled. "I'll grab the plates."

Instead of sitting at the table, Zoro and Sanji snuggled up together on the sofa. Zoro flicked on 'Marley and Me' because they loved it, even though Sanji was usually in tears by the ending.  
"Hey, we should get a dog," Zoro said, watching Marley eat through a bag of kibble. "Maybe a big dog, like a Labrador. I can take it on with me when I run in the morning."  
"And leave me alone? I don't think so," Sanji said, turning the volume down slightly. "If we did, we'd have to get two. And she'd stay home with me whilst you two are out."  
"Sounds nice," Zoro said, pulling Sanji closer.

"Well I'm going to wash up then," Sanji said, pushing himself off of the Marimo. "If we're going to the pet shop, then you better put more clothes on than just your pyjamas." The cook wandered into the kitchen, humming along to the TV music.

Zoro did as Sanji said, wandering up the stairs and into the bedroom. He jumped into the shower, deciding Sanji would probably make a comment of some sort. He hummed to himself, keeping his mind from thoughts he didn't want to think–  
A jolt shot through Zoro's body. He cried out suddenly, the pain something unimaginable. He turned off the water and climbed out of the shower, panting.

"What happened…?" Sanji's voice. He sounded worried.  
Zoro turned but the man wasn't there.

"I don't know," someone else said. There was a beeping, in time with his heart. It began to speed up. Zoro could feel his heart thunder in his chest…  
The pain coursed through Zoro's body again. His knees buckled and he fell to the floor.

"…time…"  
More voices joined in. Zoro couldn't make sense of them.

"… to the ICU. Now!"  
"Where is he?"  
"…don't know what happened…"

"Where are you taking him?"  
"Calm down."  
"… too."

"Find him!"  
"GET BACK!"

"Don't touch him!"

"ZORO!"

Zoro cried out, collapsing on to his chest. The voices were gone.  
But Sanji's remained.

"Zoro? You okay?" This was the real Sanji. Stood just outside the door. "Yeah I'm okay," Zoro said, jumping to his feet and grabbing a towel. He came out of the bathroom, to find Sanji rifling through the wardrobe. "Looking for my coat," he explained, turning his back to Zoro. He sighed, as if he was tense…  
He was worried about Zoro. He had heard him call outa and had panicked about it.

"I'm alright," Zoro said, linking his arms around Sanji's body and pulled him into a hug. "I'm alright."  
Who he was comforting, he wasn't sure. Maybe Sanji, maybe himself. Maybe both.

"Well hurry up and get dressed then," Sanji said, shoving a shirt in the Marimo's direction. "I want to go this morning, then we can come back quicker." Zoro ruffled his hair with his towel, climbing into the clothes that Sanji had picked out. Brown jeans and a pale blue t-shirt with a green hoodie. It wasn't a coincidence.  
It was the same clothes Zoro had worn on their first date.

"Let's go then."

* * *

 **Sanji**

Sanji and Zoro talked about random things during the drive. Neither mentioned how it was Sanji's first trip out of the house in four months. Sanji felt that he only could because Zoro was here with him. And he wasn't going to question that. Because if he did, Sanji knew that this would all fall apart.  
 _He_ would fall apart.

Instead Sanji drove. And talked. He told Zoro all that he had missed whilst he had been… away. How Brook had got a new record deal and seven of his songs were at the top of the charts. Chopper had graduated from College with the highest grade in class. He was now a fully-fledged Doctor at Drum Hospital and had opened several of his own clinics around the city. Nami and Luffy had moved in together and were now going steady. Usopp and Kya were making plans to travel around before settling down.  
Vivi and Ace had moved to Alubarna, and she was already expecting her first child, along with Robin and Franky who had finally announced it, although Sanji had noticed her bump a month ago.

Zoro laughed when he heard of Franky's reaction and how he had already baby-proofed the house. "We should get him to make a kennel for the back garden," Zoro said, putting serious thought into the two dogs they were about to go buy on a whim.

"They're not sleeping outside," Sanji said immediately, pulling up outside the pet store. They would sleep in their own beds, wherever they would be put. Sanji hadn't thought too much about it, but at least he had decided to go to the shop to buy everything before they went to the canine centre up the road.  
The next hour resulted in Sanji and Zoro trying decide what blankets, beds, food bowls, food and treats to buy. Zoro picked up a two collars with matching leads; one blue and one pink. He grabbed several stuffed toys (without squeakers) and some chew toys (with squeakers). Sanji bought tennis balls and water bowls. He bought a dog crate for the car and some medicine as well, just in case.

Sanji was getting excited when he saw the turning to the Canine centre. They followed the lady at the front desk to the nursery, deciding that they would get puppies and train them up. Zoro kept asking the lady questions about, what food they used and whether or not they would have to wean the puppies onto different foods later on. Neither of them realise that technically he shouldn't have been able to…  
Sanji was too mesmerised by all the puppies, barking and yapping and wagging their tails. There were hundreds. Not literally, but every time that Sanji saw a wet nose and two perky ears he felt he couldn't leave them behind. Choosing just two was going to be hard.

That was, until Sanji and Zoro found two puppies playing together. They were at the back of the room, the last of their litter. They were huskies; one with white and black markings, the other with white and beige. Sanji fell in love immediately. So did Zoro.

And so, together the pair left the Canine centre with two puppies. Zoro named the boy Onyx, whilst Sanji thought Vanilla would be a good name for the girl. Sanji didn't even bother driving home. The four of them went to the park, just outside of town. It was one Sanji knew that Zoro liked. He would run through here before heading to the Baratie to pick Sanji up from work.

"I should've bought some food," Sanji said to Zoro as they sat down in the shade of a tree, letting Vanilla and Onyx explore (with extendable leads on). "Yes," Zoro agreed, laying down. "This feels nice."  
"Almost like normal," Sanji said. He tried to ignore the back hand comment, but he had already said it. The sun didn't feel so warm anymore. His smile was a bit pathetic, trying to cover it up.  
"At least you're outside," the Marimo said. "And now you have Vanilla and Onyx around when I'm not."

Sanji nodded. It was odd. Like he had been actually given the chance to say goodbye to his lover. "Is this real?"  
Zoro smiled, asking his own question. "Am I real?"

"To be honest I don't know. But what if I'm not," he said, taking Sanji's hand. "You hear me and see me. I can talk and you can listen. I can say goodbye and you can promise me that you'll stop falling apart without me around."  
Sanji fixed Zoro with a heartbroken look. "Zoro I…" But Vanilla ran over, yapping happily. Onyx bundled into her, nudging Zoro's hand for treats.  
"We should go home," the cook said, standing up. "They might be hungry." Zoro nodded, following as Sanji scooped up Vanilla's lead. He took Onyx and the two made their way to the car, and then home. They decided to listen to the radio, to someone's rendition of 'Leaving on a Jet plan.' Just because the radio DJ was seriously messing with Sanji at the moment.

But things could only get worse.

Sanji was confused by Luffy's, Usopp's and Robin's car parked outside his house. Usopp was passing around the front lawn, shouting into his phone. When he saw Sanji he froze, before hanging up and rushing over with tears streaming down his face.

"Sanji, Sanji we didn't know where you had gone!" He didn't even acknowledge the barking dogs or Zoro in the passenger seat trying to quieten them down.  
The blonde just ignored him, feeling a little angry that he needed permission to leave his house.

"We called your mobile but you left it at home," Usopp continued, following Sanji to the boot to talk out all of the puppies new things. Usopp didn't offer a hand so Sanji continued to blank him, wrestling open the back door to unstrap Onyx and Vanilla.  
"Robin came round this morning but you weren't here and then the hospital called and Chopper was panicking," he said, almost out of breath. Sanji just wandered into his house, shaking his head to Zoro how had offered to take the dogs from him. Vanilla and Onyx seemed to sense Sanji building anger because they kept quiet, following with just a slight wag of their tails at this new adventure.

Sanji entered his house to find Robin and Kya in the living room, both on the phone to different people. They promptly hung up when they saw the Cook and followed him into the kitchen. Naturally Robin started shouting about being irresponsible, how he had worried them all… "So you're saying that I shouldn't go outside," Sanji growled angrily, putting the dog toys in a basket that he had bought at the pet store. He placed it on the floor, beside the cream dog bed he had bought for the puppies to share.

Robin stuttered, a little unsure what to say next. "W-we were worried," she confessed, her hand moving to her stomach. Stress probably wasn't good for the baby.  
Vanilla approached her first, sniffing at Robin's belly and then licking her hand to ask for a treat. "Who's this," the girl asked, bending down to pet the puppy who seemed oddly restrained whilst Robin petted her.

"Vanilla," Sanji said, nodding to the black and white puppy that had made himself home on the bed. "And that's Onyx. We were watching Marley and Me this morning and decided to get a dog."  
"You and who?" Robin asked.

"Zoro, of course."

Sanji froze where he was. How unnatural had it become to say his name? Onyx was beside his side in an instant, whimpering and asking for affection. Vanilla joined him, trying to distract Sanji from his painful thoughts.  
Zoro took his hand, comforting him. They knew the moment they shared was real. It was just Sanji had shared the moment with the memory of Zoro. One who had felt real, seemed real…

Robin didn't say anything. "About Zoro," she said quietly. "Well, I tried to ring you, but you didn't have your phone and no one knew where you were…"  
Sanji looked to her, hearing pain in her voice. His anger was gone now.

"Zoro's heart failed this morning. Twice." Robin looked to Kya for help. "The doctors said that he's no longer responding to the medicine, as if he's trying to die. He hasn't made any sign of life for four months" She began to cry. Kya laid a hand on her shoulder, the other gripping Usopp who was equally mournful. "Because he has no other family, you have to give them permission Sanji."

"To turn off his life support."

* * *

 _So, I'm just going to stop apologising. It's really hard to choose whether or not to have a happy ending or not._

 _But I left a major clue in this chapter for you guys..._

 _Review/Favourite/Follow - In that order hahah_

 _See you next Chapter_


	5. The Truth Comes Out - Preview

_Just a short preview._

* * *

 **What You Mean To Me**

 **Chapter Five:** The Truth Comes Out

 **Zoro**

 _Life support?  
_ But Zoro was dead.

 _What were they talking about?_

"How cruel," Sanji said, glaring at the older woman. "You would ask me, to kill him. _Again._ "

 _Again?_

Sanji raised his finger, stabbing it in Robin's direction, his rage growing.  
Zoro could see it. He stepped closer, about to place a hand on Sanji's shoulder, to calm him down…

"I knew you were heartless. I just didn't realise you no longer cared for Zoro or myself." The man's voice was like ice. It sent a chill down Zoro's spine.  
Vanilla and Onyx slunk away from the kitchen, terrified of the dark aura that had captured the Blonde.

"Sanji–"  
"Get out," the man spat. "Get out of my house. I never want to see you again," he said, his anger and voice rising rapidly.  
"Sanji," Robin tried to take a step forward, but suddenly, Sanji's hand came from nowhere, and slapped her across the face.

"Get out! Get out and stay out!"

Robin was shocked.  
Kya and Usopp were shocked.

Zoro was… mortified.

Sanji had _struck_ a lady. And Robin no less.

Sanji.

Sanji had _hit_ her.  
With _his_ _hand_.

Sanji, who was a womanising, doting gentleman who wouldn't ever do something as so…  
Sanji, who treasured his hands, just as much as he treasured ladies, who….

"Sanji?" The Blonde turned to the Marimo, his eye tearing, his face clammy.  
"I won't kill Zoro a second time," Sanji said, his eyes fixed on his lover's.

 _What was this? Why would he?  
_ Wait… he could still see him right?

"Sanji, I'm still here," Zoro said, taking a step closer.

"Now for the last time. Get out," Sanji said again, tears in his eyes and running down his cheeks and wetting his top. He turned tail, heading up stairs, leaving the kitchen in silence. Silence that wasn't broken by Robin or Usopp or Kaya. Not even when the slunk from Sanji house, closing the door behind them.  
Zoro followed them. Now that he knew he could leave the house, he did.  
Not because he wanted to leave Sanji alone, but because he needed to know….

* * *

 _See. I said it was short._


End file.
